Cologne Don'ts

While it's true cologne scents smell differently depending on who uses them, some colognesare so downright awful, it takes a special kind of nose to appreciate them. Here's a list of some scents that could arguably hand a swift and odorific death to your girlfriend's respect for you.

Christian Dior Farenheit

I agree, this scent was all the rage when it came out during 1988, having sold more than a million bottles worldwide, but I think it sold mainly because it's Christian Dior, and not really because of it's scent. This signature cologne combines enough spices to make your average Indian Biryani, only in the most inedible sense possible. Farenheit smells staggeringly like the combined scents of aircon, a business suit and an overpowering smell of old leather. It is NOT sexy at all. Some women find it attractive but for the most part, men don't want anything to do with it.

Old Spice

Old Spice should really stick to deodorants because their colognes turn off women almost as much as body odor does. Moreover, describing something with “old” NEVER yields positive results, so it's really not that surprising that Old Spice really makes you smell like an old man doped up with a variety of animal oils and rubbing alcohol. Old spice markets it as “unmistakable masculine, cool and crisp” but that's only true if by “unmistakably masculine” you mean “smells like an old man” and if by cool and crisp, you mean “smells like a distillery.”

Drakaar Noir

Think of a pine car freshener and multiply it by five hundred, and you'll know how Draakar Noir smells like. Really, for such a bad ass name, it smells so nauseatingly pansy. Some have even vehemently compared it to roach spray, having almost the same smell. Draakar Noir works on very few people and chances are, they won't work on you. So dont' even try.